Being a gentleman isn’t about what you own or where you are, it is about who you are.
Some think that to become a gentleman, one must invest large sums of money in clothing or taking behavioral classes. However, there are a few things one can do immediately to take the first steps towards becoming a gentleman, and they may even be things he is doing now.
1. Treat others with respect
Nothing says “gentleman” like being a gentleman. This means respecting others. No one is beneath the gentleman. He will give dignity to anyone with whom he converses, be it someone of great worldly importance, or the lowliest of men. A gentleman has enough self respect to see himself as one worthy of speaking to all men, regardless of class or status and not above any other man and thus never talks down to anyone.
2. Caring for other people
Along with respect, a gentleman is there to lend a hand. Never volunteering for anything he cannot do, he also never misses an opportunity to do what he can. He does not expect anything in return, yet allows others to pay what they feel is due, after at least once letting them know their payment, in whatever fashion, is not necessary. A gentleman does not give favors expecting anything in return as then they would be services rendered, not helping hands.
3. Treating women as ladies
No self respecting gentleman treats women poorly. We treat everyone in a manner that lifts them up, increasing their own self worth. This is especially true of the ladies. This does not mean that a gentleman should pamper women, as some sort of servant, but rather respect women as equals in a manner that lifts them up, giving them their due.
4. Be well read
In the information age, it is impossible to live in ignorance. There are a number of free books, educational blogs and news bombards us like a weapon aimed to cut at our very souls. There is no excuse for any man not to be well read. Gossip and negative news should be avoided, as it bring not only the gentleman down, but all those around him as well. The gentleman should read to be inspired and to inspire others.
5. Speak intelligently
The well read gentleman cannot help but speak intelligently. However, foul language will stain him regardless of how well versed he is. The vulgar tongue is to be avoided as it disrespects both the gentleman and his company. A better vocabulary can decrease foul language while increasing the range of eloquence for the gentleman.
6. Pay attention
While this is actually a summation of the list thus far, if one wishes to be a true gentleman, paying attention is key. If one struggles with names, he should write them down, as everyone wishes to be remembered. Many fear asking for help. The observant gentleman pays attention to find the needs of others that they may be of service in a manner that does not puff himself up or degrade the person needing assistance.
7. Have a style
Yes, style is a virtue of the gentleman. Yet this does not have to mean suits and ties. It does, however, mean that he should endeavor to look his best while keeping to his budget. This means clean clothing, worn well.
Final thoughts
Every man can be, and should be, a gentleman. Being a gentleman can mean something different for everyone.