“Detroit looks like motherfucking Detroit. As it should.”
-Anthony Bourdain
Before my first trip up to Detroit, I probably watched that episode three times — and every time, I cried. It was such a beautiful, humanizing, and uplifting view of a city I had, at that time, never even thought about visiting before meeting my chef/partner. A city forgotten by the rest of America — the butt of jokes and the place we were all told to stay away from. He went there, as he did so many other interesting, scary or wild places.
He bellied up to dive bars and drank whiskey with characters no one else ever thought to interview. He brought people from all walks of life together over shared love of food, travel and drinking. He had an insane ability to pull the most beautiful stories out of the most unlikely story-tellers. And he always found gems in dilapidated surroundings.
He was an idol of mine. A champion. An activist with a twist. He stood up for women, minorities, immigrants. He was unapologetic in his views and speech, and lived a life I’ve always admired and longed for.
Before any trip I take, it’s become ritual to watch his show of my corresponding destination. Where would Tony eat, drink, and curse? What little pocket of derelict perfection has he found that I need to explore? Whose story should I go look for?
The man was many things, and ultimately, the bad things he thought and felt took over like a dark, suffocating, muggy summer rain. Depression can and does happen to anyone. So please, again, I ask that if you’re struggling, please, please, please let someone know. It’s okay to not be well. It’s okay to feel hopeless. It’s okay to ask for help. Someone loves you — I promise you that.
And for the love of everything good, go hug a chef or even a server — treat your service industry people with respect and dignity. The struggles are real and often times debilitating in the restaurant life. Addiction, depression, and suicide are far too common in this industry, so be kind. And love a little harder. And forgive a little easier. That’s what Tony would have asked for. And perhaps what he needed.
Herman Ellianac
Moved to tears. He was so amazing, and this is why he’ll be missed.
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