Manners are neither stiff nor uptight, they merely exist to demonstrate the gentleman using them.
The first rule of etiquette is timing. A gentleman is never on time. Always plan to be 5 minutes early to meetings though a gentleman may wish to arrive a little late to certain social gatherings. These rules are not set in stone. If someone is counting on him, a gentleman may be late to ensure he get the host or hostess a needed item. Likewise, if the event begins promptly then a gentleman will be 5 minutes early.
Remember, a gentleman is never rushed. It is better to drive around a bit or wait outside to arrive at the right time than to be uncomfortably early or late.
The next part of exhibiting gentlemanly manners is saying, “thank you.” Every time. A gentleman is observant and saying “thank you” shows those that have helped in some way that he is paying attention.
While not needed for every occasion, “thank you” notes are a good way of following up. After a job interview, for example, sending a “thank you” email is a great way to stand out from other potential hires. Sending a “thank you” note after social gathering lets the host/hostess feel appreciated. It is another way for a gentleman to put others before himself.
Being a gentleman isn’t just “pleases” and “thank yous.” It is remembering important details about other people. I will admit, I am terrible with names. This is why eye contact and listening are so important. Many times, someone will address a person by name, or they may have their name on something they own. This can be a simple way to get someone’s name if one cannot remember. Yet one may ask directly. By keeping eye contact, one does not look embarrassed to ask them again for their name, they are less likely to be offended that you forgot it.
Here is a quick video with some tips on etiquette.
Many a man has had the foolish thought of pretending to be a gentleman just long enough to “get the girl.” This is a foolhardy notion. A gentleman is never the wolf. Don’t pretend to be the man she wants. Be the man you are, just be sure the man you are is a gentleman.
Image: Good Manners by Sharon Sinclair, Some rights reserved.